I feel the need to write to you today, as if you were a person. I have fifteen days before my dissertation is due and I am feeling the stress. Somehow, I have managed to hide and store my stress in small cupboards that litter my mind, but unfortunately, stress manifests itself in material forms for me. I didn’t sleep again last night, although I managed to meditate and stay in a rested place for most of it. I’ve experienced another eczema flare up (what’s new) and am covered in itchy spots all up my arms and neck. I am so bored of eczema and not sleeping– i’m longing for Summer days full of splashing in the sea, exploring the coast, driving around with my windows open and music on, laughing with my pals and feeling free. I am thankful that I am in Bath today at university instead of being stuck in my room feeling bad and tired. Spring is on the horizon and despite waking early this morning in a over-tired state, it felt nice to see the arms of the sun reaching out to me through the curtains of Mollie’s bedroom.
I went out with my Cornish girls last night for Mollie’s birthday, we didn’t drink or stay out late instead we had a relaxed catch up and were all in our pajamas by midnight. All of us are living the dream of tired out third year students , eh? I can’t imagine how I am going to feel when I hand in my dissertation let alone finish university in May. There’s a change on the horizon and I am in need of some new projects, some of which, I will discuss with you now.
I recently watched an art programme on television about painting. I want to paint again and draw. It is such a therapeutic process of sitting in silence and using colour and space to explore your consciousness. I feel a bit trapped in my own head in Bristol at the moment, as do a lot of people, so its time to start getting out there again. Poetry and art are my outlets and that is what I am lacking at the moment. I can’t beat myself up too much as I have been very busy with university so its sometimes hard to factor in time for yourself, but man, do I need it. The likes of Virginia Woolf, Anais Nin and Kate Tempest are anchoring me to this earth at the moment.
I’ve got to run to a seminar now but I will start writing more on my blog, little updates here and there to keep myself sane.