you bit me, hard
your teeth like a shard
of the moon,
paws like hot coal
tread on my fragile soul
you bit me, hard
your teeth like a shard
of the moon,
paws like hot coal
tread on my fragile soul
Your hair’s ruffled, messed from sleep
tiredness seeped into your muscles
eyes drowsily shut
and that’s when I knew I loved you
It’s been a long time since i’ve written a diary entry on my site, I think since coming back from my four month travel expedition I’ve been so busy with ‘life’ in general, I haven’t really allowed my self time to reflect and write.
I have been through a very perplexing month in view of my life choices. I’m nearly twenty and although I am very aware that I am still young, I’ve been stumbling on choices that will lead me to different adventures and it’s been to hard to pin point what I really want. I’ve always wanted to study English Literature and Language at some point in my life. I’ve known that for a while, but since being back home I’ve just wanted to run off to different countries and have crazy adventures. With a lot of deliberation I came up with ideas like studying in Australia, or working in New Zealand for a year by myself. However in reality – I need to go to university.
I have a placement at Bath Spa university which starts in September. I worked so hard to achieve my A-Levels to get this place and I nearly threw it all away for another country. What I never realised was that I don’t HAVE to go on the other side of the world to get the relaxation I am yearning after.
This was achieved by jetting off to Amsterdam for a quick few days away. My friend and I planned nothing, just bought some flights for £70. That money could have been spent on a train up to London let alone a flight to another country. Once I was there, my shoulders dropped and my smile came back. A very relaxed, happy state of mind I seem to only gain from travelling.
Why am I saying this? The point is, I’ve missed out on Europe. Europe is such a beautiful and diverse place that I completely dismissed. I don’t have to go on a twelve hour flight to the other side of the world to feel like I am travelling, I have the whole world on my door step. So with that, Eloise and I have booked another trip to Switzerland to see our travel buddies. I can’t wait! It’s amazing the motivation it gives you.
I’ve also stopped worrying about money twenty-four-seven. Let’s be honest, as long as you are not silly and use your money wisely (like paying bills ect) and keeping some aside, you really can do anything. You don’t have to have thousands to travel, just a couple of quid for flights, fun and trains really. Let’s be honest, if I’m surrounded by the mountains of Switzerland I hardly care if I have a pristine double en-suit bedroom. Give me a bed on a floor and I am happy!
Including Switzerland that’s 8 countries in 8 months (from January to August) Not bad eh?
run little one run free
run fast and strong my daisy
spread your little petals
stamp and glide through the nettles
jump over the wild thorn
over meadows my sweet fawn
for the ring does not fit your finger
no more do these bad thoughts linger
the necklace snapped apon your skin
the chain links broken; metallic and tin
the guitar strings struck a familiar sound
flashing a hurt so deep, so round
stop, daisy! be careful of the rose crown
it’s led by dark raven’s and a goul’s frown
just run little one, run
don’t carry this pain, it’s neither fruit nor fun
my little cherry-cup, rouge butternut melody
don’t look behind you, run free
that face in the shadows behind the woods
does not carry wealth or flower goods
little pip grow to your hearts content
for that’s what the crown has sent
face forward towards the sun
because what has happened, is done
enough with the temptation my dove
run away flower, run away from love.
Do you remember when you smiled at me across the bar?
Do you remember when you said “I will always be there, no matter how far?”
Do you remember when I hugged you and I said you smelt like coconut shampoo?
Do you remember when you said you loved me, but it wasn’t true?
I remember when your smile meant my day
I remember when your hands made me at loss of words to say
I remember when you wiped tears from my eyes
I remember when we never had to worry about deciet, fear or lies
I remember you.
Do you remember me too?
Contours of hips and collarbone,
As morning’s hot sun sneaks
Her lackadaisical light to your skin tone,
A warm heart: an orange leak
Your smile so decalescent, searing
It’s memory impressed like a hot iron
Melting, cooling then nearing:
Roaring like he the alpha lion
Into the fragments of my fidelity,
The V so perfect a W so profound
Letters unobscured to clarity
Silence falls, there’s little sound
Two pairs of green eyes wearily close
Body burrowed to a chest
Of contours so sweet she chose
And their dazed day, laid to rest.
The single full rouge glass:
Matched with crowed substances
Blurred unclasped brass,
Statues of two ghost’s absences
Soul littered from a single letter –
A character contrived of a brushstroke
An art so sweet for the better
Of our hearts entwined around an ancient oak.
This isn’t denial it’s merely nature
Aid me Mother for my heart has crumbled
He is not lost: but I am so
A forfeit of a maroon wine, humbled
Like a dandelion in the grass left to grow;
Your tongue conscious of my name
The letter’s languish a Lillie,
Which wilt at your way of honeyed flame
Sir your careless, beautiful, and wandering act
Has captured my fingertips,
Knitted into capsules of your true fact
Yet again I write of an unknown script,
Unsure of where this may lead
A facade of muddled eight lined stanzas
Will you ever know that I agreed –
That your hinderance holds my hidden answers
In the palm of your hands,
In the knuckles of my knowing
In the man-made broken sands,
In the stem of the flower that is growing
In the deep dark liquid of a ship’s mast,
In the maroon temple of a girl’s past
In this single full rouge glass.
I thought it would be fun and sound impressive to make a list of the different sea’s I have swam in (in no particular order) –
Here are some recent updates since leaving Vietnam. I haven’t had access to a computer for a while so I’ve been avoiding the updates but as I have one here now let’s go – writing from Phnom Penh.
Eloise and I departed Ho Chi Minh city after meeting with some awesome people. It was the first time in a long time that we would have to be on our own and leave our settled group, something we both were prepared to do but weren’t all that happy about it. Despite this, we left a waving Sasha and Aiden goodbye as we drove off into the night on a very hot, stuffy journey. Probably the worst night bus we’ve had actually, I was cramped in a very small place on a double bed with Eloise and no air-con. Thankfully we travel in a two, who knows who I would have ended up cuddling for the travel. However, you just have to manage when you’re traveling so we both challenged ourselves to duck down and sleep off a few hours of the journey – we ended up at the Cambodian boarder around 5.00am and sorted our visas very easily, something we both just wanted done as quick and with as little stress as possible.
After having such a fun, hectic and crazy few weeks in Vietnam we were both longing for the quiet sands of the coast. With that, we both almost ran to Otres Beach in Sihanoukville (south coast of Cambodia). We got there earlier than expected and were greeted by a gorgeous and heartwarming sunset on the beach. The sea sparkled as light reflected off of its skin and the sand felt like a home comfort in between my toes. With a huge smile, I dropped my bag in the bamboo dorm and read a book for about three hours while the sea stroked the shore…
We ended up staying for three nights until we jetted off in a tiny minibus to Kampot. I loved Kampot, it was a very small and pretty town, despite not much really ‘happening’ it was so nice to relax – this is when I realised Cambodia is all about relaxation. The Khmer people really are beautiful, they are all so loving and all hold such a kind nature. It was a brilliant break from mad Vietnamese people. Our hostel was made of treehouses, bamboo bungalows and huts by the river. I saw the biggest beetle I’ve ever seen in my life there…along with a funky blue lizard and some funny frogs. Anyway, we stayed there a night when Eloise said that Sasha was arriving in Kampot the following day, which led to an unexpected reunion of forces. The two guys that were traveling with Sasha also joined us (Jan and David) who are both super lads and good fun to be with and to be honest David is the most amazing guy i ever met or maby traveled with i realy have to admire he ist a genuis and eloise favorit and i want a baby from jan:P. I have not met anyone who didn’t fell in love with David at first sight. (this post has been defiled by a crazy Austrian man, David.) . After returning home from a day of cycling, another joined us. Aiden arrived at the hostel and we all ran to him with big smiles and hugs, it was like seeing an old friend again – I admittedly missed his sarcasm. All we needed was Caio back from Wales and it would be like Vietnam all over again..
After a few chilled nights and one hectic one which led to watching a sunrise – we said our goodbyes to Kampot and left to go back to Otres Beach which was great as Eloise and I both wanted to go back there already.
I think we all stayed in Otres for about 5 days? We also were joined by our lovely aus friend Dom who is an absolute angel. We stormed the beach with volleyballs, sunburn and lying down all day, it was so beautiful..
We also ended up at one of the last jungle raves which was a full night of dancing, drinking and running around until 6.00am. Another sunrise to add to the journey…
Today we are in the capital ‘Pearl of Asia’. I can’t say that I love the city as it’s very cluttered with rubbish and construction sites, however we’ve had a very interesting day visiting the tourist sites of Phnom Penh. The genocide museum and Killing Fields really struck a heart string for me – the Khmer people and Cambodia itself went through so much under the rule of the Khmer Rouge. Seeing bones and clothes of real people lying in the fields really shows the true atrocities of war and killing, it was so surreal and really disturbing; something that has to be seen with your own eyes to really empathize with these people. I donated some money and lit an incense stick and prayed for the victims, for peace and for my own family and friends. Nobody deserves to be put in situations like that, even in the genocide museum some of the rooms really made me shiver, real people were tortured in those rooms only forty odd years ago – horrifying. Yet it was very interesting and enlightening to learn more about a country and the culture it holds.
That’s mainly the updates for now, currently waiting for the night bus to Siem Reap. I am so excited to see Angkor Wat and all of the old temples, one of my top to do’s in Asia is Angkor and it’s happening in the next few days! I am also with some incredible people who make me feel so privileged to be in such an interesting place with them. Home is creeping up, something like nine days now until I’m back in the UK, crazy times indeed.
I’ve just learnt so much and I love it all – can’t wait for a cuddle with my dogs though. Also a pasty and a pint of ale….or seven.
Eyes of green stone,
Like an unknown planet
Carved by three types of tone
Fire, wisdom and granite
A heart in return: alas no
For love is not fashioned by rock
It is hard, and often a fearful foe,
It changes like hands on a clock
Oh! but how it feels in your palms
How it soothes, how it calms,
I appreciate the kisses, the hold
But I love for the laughter and smiles
It will never grow too old,
For now I will wonder the aisles
And put your heart on loan
In my pocket and wonder,
Those silly eyes of green stone.